A Script of Indian Politics…

Day 0

MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar May 18 20xx

7 Killed and 12 Wounded in Militant Attack in North Rashmir
"7 people were killed, including 3 military personnel, in a suitcase bomb at Kshitij Plaza in North Rashmir…"


Day 1

Chief Minister of Rashmir– Senior Member of the Wrongress Party

“This is a truly barbaric act that has no basis in Islam and we condemn this unreservedly. We will spare no pains to hunt down and bring the criminals to justice”

President of Rashtriya Righteous Parishad

“We believe that Chindistan Jihad have again gained the upper hand in challenging our national integrity as the ruling Wrongress Party leaders sit back and encourage such attacks by fundamentalist elements from Chindistan to act under the cover of meaningless peace talks”

Prime Minister of Hindistan – Wrongress Party

“This is a very savage act on our soil and we are mobilizing our strongest investigative partners to hunt down the perpetrators and bring them to justice”

Senior Member of Rashtriya Righteous Parishad

“This is a barbaric act. The Wrongress Party must deal a stronger arm instead of playing fiddle to west driven friendship and peace policies”

Party Spokesperson of Wrongress Party

“We have instructed the Chief Minister’s Office at Rashmir to work closely with the military police and civilian agencies to chase down the criminals behind this horrific act”

Chief Minister of Rashmir– Senior Member of the Wrongress Party

“We have had detailed discussion with the Prime Minister and have requested the resources of Hindistan Intelligence Agency (HIA) and Border Intelligence Agency (BIA) to investigate the incident”



Day 7

MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar May 25 20xx
Attack Intelligence was shared with Rashmir Home Ministry
"An anonymous source at the Border Intelligence Agency said that it had shared advance intelligence with the Rashmiri Home Minister that indicated possible terrorist activity in April… "

President of Rashtriya Righteous Parishad

“This Wrongress Government is inefficient and corrupt, and has not been able to deal effectively with any of the past Chindistan Militancy on our soil. We demand the immediate resignation of Central Home Ministry and Rashmir Chief Minister”

Senior Minister of Rashtriya Satyavaadi Party

“This government led by the Wrongress Party and the Opposition leaders of the Rashtriya Righteous Party are all equally inefficient and corrupt. Rashmir should be under military rule.”

Home Minister Rashmir

“I can assure you that no such intelligence was shared with us. This is just opposition tactics to taint the current government”



MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar May 25 20xx
Rashtriya Satyavaadi Party threatens to go on Indefinite Hunger Strike
“Rashtriya Satyavaadi Party President has threatened to organize a peaceful hunger strike and demonstration outside the residence of the Wrongress Headquarters from Saturday unless speedy justice was dispensed on the Rashmir Investigations.”

Party Spokesperson of Wrongress Party

“We have setup a Joint Parliamentary Investigation Commission to investigate the communication failure between the BIA and Rashmir Home Minister. The Prime Minister would like to assure the country that strict action will be taken based on the findings of the report.”

President of Rashtriya Satyavaadi Party

“BIA, HIA, Military Police and Home Minister are all in each other’s beds. We are starting our protest demonstration on Saturday. I shall go on indefinite hunger strike.”

Senior Minister of Wrongress Party on Twitter

“Another hunger strike! ROFL..!! RSP should understand that hunger strikes don’t solve real problems”

Day 12

MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar May 31 20xx
Rashtriya Satyavaadi Party President goes on Hunger Strike
“Rashtriya Satyavaadi Party President has commenced his hunger strike and demonstration outside the Wrongress Party Headquarters.”


Party Spokesperson of Wrongress Party

“The party leadership is not very worried about populist protests – like so many before the RSP will run out of steam when brought to a national debate, away from their fringe attack policy”

President of Rashtriya Righteous Parishad

“We will boycott parliament until a full report of Rashmir Home Ministry investigation report is not submitted”


MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar May 31 20xx
Parliament hung over uproar from opposition – no Food for Poor Bill this session
“The opposition parties led by Rashtriya Righteous Party gheraod the speaker demanding justice. No action marked the day in parliament and the speaker adjourned the house…”


Day 15

MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar June 3 20xx
RSP President continues his hunger strike. Physician says condition stable.

Party Spokesperson of Rashtriya Righteous Parishad

“We will boycott parliament until the prime minister resigns.”

President of the Wrongress Party

“The Prime Minister has our full support.”


Day 20

MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar June 8 20xx
Joint Parliamentary Report submitted. An ASS found guilty

Party Spokesperson of Rashtriya Righteous Parishad

“The Rashmiri Home Minister must resign immediately.”

President of the Wrongress Party

“We are going through the report submitted. Let me assure you that just action shall be taken.”

Party Spokesperson of Wrongress Party

“The prime minister has called for a meeting with the BIA and HIA chairmen to map out next steps.”


MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar June 8 20xx
President of RSP end fast
“The president of RSP has ended his indefinite fast. In a statement to MoI he said ‘we will observe the action taken by the Wrongress Government on the report before deciding on next steps’ “



Day 25

MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar June 13 20xx
Home Minister claims error by Assistant to Special Secretary of Rashmir Home Ministry – ASS of Home fired from job
“The Rashmir Home Ministry spokesperson claimed that the report was classified as insufficient evidence by the ASS and that the ASS has been fired on negligence...”

Party Spokesperson of Rashtriya Righteous Parishad

“The Rashmiri Home Minister must resign. The culture of the ministry is responsible for such misconduct and the Home Minster must take responsibility”

President of the Wrongress Party

“We have read and acted upon the report by firing the ASS in the office of the Home Ministry.”



Day 30
MoI Correspondent, Minutes of India, Srinagar June 18 20xx
Bomb Suspect Apprehended!!

Press Release by BIA Chairman: The BIA Special Action Force, in collaboration with the State Police, HIA forces and the army has apprehended the two key suspects involved in executing the Suitcase Bombing last month….

Press Release by HIA Chairman: The HIA Special Tracking Team, in collaboration with the State Police, BIA and the army has apprehended the two key suspects involved in executing the Suitcase Bombing last month…

Press Release by Rashmir Home Minister: The State Police Special Purpose Team, in collaboration with the HIA, BIA and the army has apprehended the two key suspects involved in executing the Suitcase Bombing last month…

President of the Wrongress Party

“I am proud of the relentless effort of all agencies involved in tracking down the perpetrators of a truly barbaric act.”

Party Spokesperson of Rashtriya Righteous Parishad

“The center must now focus on speedy justice. Anything short of the death penalty will send messages of leniency to Chindistan”

Chairman of a major Human Rights Group

“The prisoners must be given a fair judicial process. Killing them will not make us any different from them.”

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