Regression of TV Content

I was wasting time on selected evening browsing and I found the jackpot of humor – a three hour long timeline of TV soaps that are funniest in their absolute failure of being able to express the very emotions that they are trying to. Here are some of the weirdest and almost hilarious aspects of Hindi soap opera-dome.

Everything must be said: It’s almost as if these shows were made for the dumber and dumbest with the most pathetic attempts at expressing every thought and emotion in words – nothing is worse in acting than abuse of dialogue. And the funniest part is the lucidity of thought (speechless dialogue). I have not known me or anyone I know think that clearly.

1. Beat to death music: Every scene and every emotion connects to the same song/music at a different tempo until even the tune makes you squeamish in your belly. How bad must an actor be to have to express every thought and emotion not only in words but also need template based tempo to back it us; a sad face is good enough, we really don’t need someone saying “I am sad” with a slow rendition of whatever song has been knocked off for the purpose.
2. Names that rarely connect to more than a few episodes: The latest trend of picking up names from old Hindi music has got to go – the maligning of emotions and thought that went into the lyrics of these songs is almost unbearable. And the best part of this latest flow of names is that the name is thought up for just the first season of the drama. The drama then spins off into a never-ending saga that has little or nothing to do with the story or context.
3. The never-ending saga of micro plots: This is probably what’s the shittiest part of this mass creative graveyard, and maybe even the success of Hindi soap opera (if the amount of conversation every episode generates is anything to go by)! Every minor incident and sub-sub-plot occupies the better part of at least two episodes. In one of these series’ extended events were the two episodes that marked the first love making of a couple star struck into marriage. You just cannot take a man and a woman’s first time and extend it over two horrifying episodes of bad acting and yes, the background music!
4. The crime series: I am spoilt by the likes of NCIS, Law and Order SVU, etc. and thus probably my assessment of some crime series that I had the pleasure of viewing lately, viz. CID and Crime Patrol. Really, does that patch of blood mean that the murder was committed nearby? Need I say more…
5. The bad ads: Even western TV has their sad moments and bad content but some good ads in between is worth the trouble. The case used to be quite the same in Indian TV except it seems like we have regressed to DD-age advertising. Two weeks and the only passable ad I saw was the new Hero Honda commercial with Akshay Kumar.

I will reserve my thoughts on television comedy for another time as it deserved special respect for the ludicrousness of what has come to pass for humor.