Mother & Commerce

Whatever happened to “I love you mom”!! Or just the reassurance of a hug?

Now you type in the words to let loose on you 83,800,000 search results in a matter of 0.17 seconds…. Welcome to the world of meta-tagged love where everything can be expressed through a dollar denominated medium of expression. As I was browsing through some of the initial VISA enabled mother-child love related search results, what became obvious to me was that the dollars involved was in no way classified into small counts.

The second Sunday of May -- May 9 this year -- is a big day not only for America's 83 million moms, but also for sellers of things that smell nice, look pretty, taste yummy or feel good. All told, the run-up to Mother's Day 2010 is expected to bring in $14.6 billion in U.S. sales, according to a survey released by the National Retail Federation. It's estimated that sons and daughters will shell out an average of $126.90 each on the mother figures in their lives.

That is an Everest expression of “I love you mommy”.

At the risk of sounding like an old school communist (I hope I am not jeopardised and compromised!!), I would say that the capitalist machinery has over the decades, since Congress declared Mother’s Day officially in 1916, redefined the mother and child’s love to a dollar generating equation!

I called my mom and wished her a Happy Mom’s day… I had eventually called her after a fortnight of missed reminders. “Praise the lord,” she says, “You still remember us!” I had spent considerable time looking for great Mother’s Day ideas for a gift and many websites later I decided on calling her up instead. We had a 1 hour chat and I went away with a warm fuzzy feeling and I believe so did my mother. And that was that.

Somewhere I feel content that the intent of Julia Ward Howe would have had such simplistic expressions in mind rather than fuel a billion dollar Greeting & Floral industry surrounding child-mother relationship. I am even convinced that Anna Jarvis too had humbler ambitions when in the year 1858 Anna Jarvis started her efforts to help Mother’s Day gain commercial and political support.

The celebration in form of gifts and worship of Mother’s day can actually be traced back to history that is far ancient than there is record of actual lobbying for a recognition on the List of Important Dates.

The history goes as far back as to the times of ancient Greeks, who held festivities to honour Rhea, the mother of the gods. The early Christians celebrated the Mother's festival on the fourth Sunday of Lent to honour Mary, the mother of Christ. Interestingly, later on a religious order stretched the holiday to include all mothers, and named it as the Mothering Sunday.

The ancient Romans also had another holiday, Matronalia, that was dedicated to Juno Lucina, the Goddess of childbirth and of motherhood. The date of the festival was associated with the dedication of a temple to Juno Lucina on the Esquiline Hill circa 268 BCE, and possibly also a commemoration of the peace between the Romans and the Sabines. On the day, women would participate in rituals at the temple, although the details have not been preserved other than the observation that they wore their hair loose (when Roman decorum otherwise required them to wear it up), and were not allowed to wear belts or to knot their clothing in any place.

At home, women received gifts from their husbands and daughters, and Roman husbands were expected to offer prayers for their wives.  

So a gift is appropriate but that is not what bothers me. As I look around me, one of the stark hypocrisies that bother me is that, although our pompous celebration of gratitude and love for our mothers has only gotten exaggerated over time, the true affection and respect is running rather sparse. Economy and individualism aside, I find no excuse to see a 75 year old lady with medical equipment hanging to her back to be working at my florist trying to clumsily put together a bouquet of blooms for me for $35, her kids working in Chicago.

Expression of love, especially for your mother or father, cannot be summarized in a card or flowers on one calendar day.  As the bible says

 “Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.” (1 John 3:18) Let your mother know this year that her love is shown, not only in the compliments and encouragement that she gave but also the appreciation for the love shown through punishment and actions.

I feel that at this point I have hammered the generations to an acidic extent and must insist that I am by no means against the celebration of Mother’s Day. But let us not forget her or forget to love her on every other day, with or without the material gifts.